A Few Of My Favorite Things
I’m working on my next story-type blog post, but while that’s cooking, here are a few of the world-changing, mindset-shifting things that have had a huge influence on me and that I highly recommend.
Book
The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
This has been the single most transformative book I’ve ever read, and I was a comparative literature major in college (in other words, I read a LOT of books). I usually avoid non-fiction, but a therapist I had years ago recommended another book by Pema Chödrön, and this one also came up when I was buying it on Amazon.
The most basic concept of the book, that of loving-kindness, was one of those things that sounds so simple, but when I read it, it remolded my brain. I struggle with feeling my feelings and not gas-lighting myself into squashing them because I think I should feel differently. The concept of gently acknowledging your feelings alone was transformative and at the same time took some of their overwhelming power away. There’s so much more. It’s a book that I can only read a little bit of at a time because each chunk leaves me with something new I have to chew and digest. It’s just so different from how I’m used to operating in the world. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s also beautifully written.
Podcasts
I’m super late to the podcast bandwagon. Most of my friends have been listening for years, and when I say I don’t have time, they tell me they listen in their cars. Usually when I’m driving, it’s my time to let my mind run free and be creative (or, depending on the day, churn in an endless loop of to-do lists and anxiety). But I started listening to a Brené Brown podcast in March to get myself through a long tattoo session, and I loved it.
I highly recommend Brené Brown in general; I have loved everything I’ve encountered by her. This was a two-part podcast though that really got my attention, to the point that I was taking notes, I was so fascinated.
Brené with Dr. Susan David on The Dangers of Toxic Positivity
Music
In the fall of 2020, I was in a really good place emotionally and mentally. I’d achieved some big goals and just been promoted in my career, I’d made it through lockdown and still managed to grow my business, the pandemic had reinforced how much my job let me help others through a dark and traumatic time which fed my soul’s purpose, and I generally felt good about myself. I was certain more good things were right around the corner; I could feel it in my bones. This is my abundance playlist, which I was playing constantly at that point.
Daily Practice
A couple months ago, I gathered up a list of affirmations that I wanted to retrain my brain into thinking and firmly believing, even in the hardest times. I put them into the reminder app on my phone, and set them to be reminders every day throughout the day. I love this because they always seem to come at the right time, like a friend sending me a text to remind me they’re thinking of me (but it’s from myself, which is so huge in my road to self love!!!).
Plus, I have to mark it as completed, which means I have to engage with the affirmation; something about marking it off my list makes it feel like I’m getting myself to buy in more. So much of our self-talk directs how we feel about ourselves without us even realizing it, and we think the same things over and over again out of habit. I’m changing some of those habits.
(I got this idea when I researched apps to help with self-esteem, and found that some of them sent unpersonalized reminders like this; I realized I could make my own for free, that spoke to me).