Just Sliiiide that Book Back on the Shelf
Continuing with the ‘men are books’ theme, here are some of the books I glanced at and quickly put back on the shelf:
One summer, I briefly texted with a guy I met on an app. I wasn’t super excited about him, but recognized I knew nothing about him and was willing to learn more. We agreed to meet up. I let him know I was a single mom (something I always try to slide into conversation early, in case they haven’t actually read my profile), so I would need a little lead time when setting up a date to get childcare. The next day, he asked me if I could make it out the following night for a drink. Still trying to make it work, but annoyed that he didn’t listen, I reached out to my sitter. Maybe an hour or two later, I let him know a time I could meet, and he said that he’d already made plans for that night, but how about Sunday? Really annoyed now, I took a bit to debate whether I still wanted to meet him. When I said Sunday would work, he said he’d already made plans with friends. He suggested another time. I said this wouldn’t work for me. Months later, he ‘liked’ me on another app. I swiped left.
Early in 2022, I started texting with a guy who on paper was gorgeous and interesting and adventurous. But each time I asked a question, he gave a one or two word answer. He didn’t ask anything back. He didn’t continue the conversation. The entire interaction felt like pulling teeth. I found myself clenching my jaw as my friend and I drove to the mountains for a backpacking weekend, trying to decide if this was worth pursuing. He’d liked me first, but then didn’t seem interested at all. I got back from the backpacking trip and decided I didn’t have the energy for tooth extractions. There have been a lot of those types of conversations with men since then, which I tend to quickly exit.
I usually end up browsing online dating sites fairly late at night, after my son is in bed and I’ve had a chance to have a bit of time to myself. One night, sometime after 9:30 PM, I matched with a guy who’d liked me on Hinge. I sent a message to start the conversation, expecting him to reply the following day if at all. He immediately responded. That’s pretty much the opposite of what I want—kind of like when you finally get yourself psyched up enough to make that phone call you’ve been putting off forever, and then someone actually answers on the other end and your stomach drops. Anyway, I forced myself to be friendly and responded. After all, that’s the point, right? The next thing I knew, he was video-calling me through the app. (Refer to the telephone example above, only now it’s like when someone rings your doorbell, and they see you through the window. You don’t want to answer the door, but they know you’re there now, and you know they know you’re there now, so you have to answer. Only in this case, the person wants a date and you haven’t even showered.) I steeled myself, trying to push myself out of my comfort zone (after all, this could be a very lovely person!), and answered. The conversation was not notable except for the fact that he was slow to respond, his words were a little slurred, and by the end of the extremely uncomfortable chat, I was pretty sure he was stoned. He said, “Shoot me a message if you want to meet up sometime!” I didn’t.